....So This is Life ...

Hi all, I've been somewhat incognito since yesterday (Saturday) afternoon. My uncle called while I was at Lowe's and said my mom had been taken from her hometown ER to the Tulsa ER with chest pains which radiated into her jaw and chin (actually cardiac intensive care unit, but I did not get a sense - yet - that they are confident it's her heart). I spent the night in mom's ICU room last night - they let 1 person sleep there which is nice (I did not sleep a wink all night, all the busy-ness of the ICU, and tons of beeping sounds, and watching Mom's levels go up and down on the monitor....) so I came home this afternoon and slept all afternoon which I hated to do. She's going through lots of tests but can talk fine and seems aware and seems to be feeling pretty good. They don't know when she will go home... they want to do heart tests as soon as her b/p stabilizes....her b/p got really, really low. Her hemoglobin levels also keep decreasing and they are concerned about that, thinking that she may be bleeding somewhere although no visible signs of bleeding (and reason for all the tests). Steph is there now spending the night and I'm going back there in the a.m. I was pretty proud of myself honestly for all the things I actually remembered about Mom's health so I could tell the doc - which turned out to be some Mom had not told them about yet, or meds that she had forgotten to write down.

I have had 3 dogs at my house (I've been caring for Fletcher since S&C were in Wichita Falls, TX for Steph's 100-mile bike ride). I was scrambling last night trying to find someone to let the dogs out (finally did around 11 p.m.) since my aunt had planned to spend the night w/Mom but wasn't feeling well so she went home. I wasn't quite prepared to spend the night there but am glad I did to be there with Mom. It was pretty chaotic, all the family (her sisters, brothers, family), docs, nurses, etc. coming and going, calling and texting, you know how that goes. I'm telling the same updated stories continually until I'm not sure whom I've told what. I wrote down everything every doctor said (she had an internist, gastrointologist, cardiologist, etc.) so that we all had reference notes for the next person's "shift". It's a lot to keep track of. (Her first nurse's name was Jimmy, from Nairobi and very nice, seemed very on top of things. He wants to move to NC and do a Duke Master's program).

I continue to get infuriated with pretty much every single move my sister makes (or doesn't make). I swear she uses having a baby as an excuse for not participating in "life" or anything hard except her own life. I don't know how to better say that. I'm sure I do the same thing at times, get into my own little world, but sheesh. At times, I thought I might implode with all the rage at her. She's at least spending the night in Mom's room tonight, which I thought she would back out of somehow. But she's there. I will go back tomorrow a.m. so she and her hubby can go to Cory's doctor appt., also going in for tests (scary stuff too, he found a lump on his testicle). I am hoping I can keep my therapy appointment this week so I can vent about family issues! Particularly my sister.

She & Cory got in an argument in the hospital lobby hallway because they were trying to coordinate "friends" meeting them there so they could meet Kaia. Cory didn't have his phone on him (Steph had it from earlier) so they kept missing each other and going to different floors to try to find the other, and it got blown up. I butted in and said, "you can't blame Cory when you have his phone!" She's like "Cory, if you had been where I told you to go, (hospital lobby), then we wouldn't have just spent 30 minutes looking for each other and now the friends are leaving." Ugh. Well, I know better than to butt in, and honestly, I don't know really what happened so more reason for me to keep my mouth shut. That's how I left the hospital, with them arguing about that. I have my own views of course on how the whole thing happened. Like, "what the HELL are you doing trying to coordinate this as a "friend" gathering to see Kaia when your Mom is in ICU, and your sister (me!) has had no sleep, no food, and has been waiting on your ass to get back to the hospital so she can leave! Arrrrrrrrggggggggghhhhhhhh!!!! She at least did think to bring my meds to me so I could take those. Sheesh.

On a good note, the weather has been positively beautiful. I drove to Tulsa and back with the top down the whole way. Nice. Hope your weekend was good. I'll keep ya posted on Mom's condition. I'm going to get up early Mon a.m. and plan to go to work for a while first before I head back to Tulsa... I have huge deadlines this week, big mailing to get out which is already late by a week.